A CHRISTMAS THAT'S GONE FOREVER.............

I'm sure it goes without saying that I have been hurting over these holidays... my boys have been hurting, my ex has been hurting, the family is hurting. I do hope Ayn was able to find some happiness today, I hope she was sufficiently distracted to recall the nightmare she is trapped within. I cannot, in fact I would not even if I could, I need to know this feeling. 

Each Christmas around the world people gather together for gift giving and great meals; they tell stories, share laughter and embrace those they hold dearest. These are days I do not get back.... ever. I can and will be having great celebrations upon Ayn's return however these days are gone...nearly 200 now. On its face it would seem that the worst thing about this is having your child taken but it isn't. The worst thing is being powerless to get them back, it is the indifference shown by a powerful bureaucracy and how it disregards care and logic for policy and salaries. 

There is no reason for keeping this girl from her family, but they don't care, they have her and this is simply their function so they perform it. To them this is just how it is, they feign kindness, they feign caring... but the reality is they do not even know Ayn, they do not even care to know her.... how is it they can then claim to know what is best?? 

Child Protection Services is not a person, it is a faceless abstract created by us, the people for whom it supposed to serve. We create and fund these entities under the notion that children need to be protected... but that is where it ends for most of us... with a notion. We do not read the laws, we do not learn the policies, we do not examine audits; in short we do not take the time to see if it is working. We rest on the assumption that because its purpose was pure and its function is good that everything must be ok.... well its not ok. And if I could give people anything this Christmas it would be courage to change these things. 

I don't think people ever sat and imagined what would happen if this institution we created to protect children became so bureaucratic and policy driven that it did not take the time to actually thoughfully examine what might be best for a family. they get over 1 000 000 000 dollars a year here in BC.... they still have never bothered to determine how my daughter behaved in the home, nary a question to that effect. Do we understand what that means, when an organization that powerful can remove children without even having to consider how the child was in the home. And yet it continues to be funded it and we continue to look away.... seeking comfort in the original notion... children need to be protected.

I still have two children and now I have the knowledge that there exists this institution which can march in and kidnap your child at the whim of someone who does not even know you... this is not something that sits well... When they took my daughter I didn't know what to do, I only knew that it was wrong. I love my children and would never harm them, I have sought to learn the most I can about their disability and to try to understand them and how best to treat them.... but they still took her anyway. They did not spend an hour of thought on my daughter or my family but felt that they had the authority to do this to people. I am fairly certain that they cannot keep her forever, but that may be simply me turning to another institution and the notion under which it was founded... Justice.

On this Christmas I hope everyone holds their loved ones closely and focuses on the happiness which they can bring to one another. 

I have spent the past few days giving some much needed attention to my boys Wyatt and Lyric, whom I would like to thank so much and to let everyone know how proud I am of them, they have both shown such great strength and character in the midst of all this strife. 

And to all of you who have supported me throughout this, I know I have thanked you all so many times and I do not want it to lose its lusture but please know that it has meant so much for me in this battle that there are others still out there for whom child protection is more than just a notion. That you all can put a face on those children and take some of your time to help fight for them is a wonderful thing... and hopefully it means that we as a people have not reached a point of apathy where we will sit idly by as noble concepts get ripped to shreds.

Please have a Merry Christmas everyone, do not lament in my sadness, find it as a reason to share your joys and loves with others whom you find worthy of it. Cherish them and each moment you have together. Time is fleeting but our love does not have to be. Thank you so much everyone, enjoy your holidays. I am going to go and hug my boys and look at pictures of my baby girl.

This little girl needs to be back

in her daddy’s arms.

MCFD CAN MAKE A CHRISTMAS WISH COME TRUE!

by Laurie Hatton

Should Ayn be home for Christmas & forever? Most definitely!

I sent the following email to various members of MCFD & political leaders earlier this week.

At this time of year, when family is so important, The Ministry of Children and Family Development of British Columbia has been very much on my mind. As a Canadian, and a parent, I appreciate the work you do as the guardians of your province's children in need. The responsibility to be vigilant, and yet just, is truly onerous.

The issue that has brought you to my thoughts so often is the continuing absence of Ayn van Dyk from her home. As you know, Ayn was taken into care on June 16. Since then, information has come to MCFD displaying that while Ayn was sometimes violent and unco-operative at school, she was doing well at home, for the most part. I also believe that you have come to have a better understanding of Autism. Although it took 45 days to happen, when your autism expert reviewed her file, the recommendation for a 6 week or more Psychological Evaluation at P1 was dropped. Ironically, Ayn's brief elopement on June 12th, the very behaviour that seems to have triggered MCFD's involvement, has been repeated at least twice since Ayn was taken into care. On one of these occasions, you will recall, Ayn climbed out an unlocked window and was found naked in the the streets. This is not surprising as “eloping” is common in autism, and Ayn is highly motivated to get home. I am confident that you have had more than enough time to confirm that this girl has autism, does not require protection, and needs to be returned to her father and brothers.

Additionally, you should have a new understanding of Ayn's home life before removal, and of her father, Derek Hoare. He is a determined man who will do almost anything for his children. He will not compromise his principles. He will not knowingly do anything to hurt Ayn, including distressing her by visiting and then leaving her when she very much wants to come home. She would not understand and would perceive this as intentful abandonment. Derek has been very patiently negotiating and working with you to try to get Ayn home. I believe that he was asked to present a proposal for Ayn’s care as a pre-requisite to her return. Having reviewed the proposal he submitted, it is my opinion that he did a remarkable job. Further, I believe it should be approved, and Ayn should be returned this very week. At very least, the consulting part of it should be approved, and thus independent experts can meet Ayn & give their feedback about what is best for her.

It is my understanding that, if new information is received after a child is removed, she can be returned immediately. In addition, if I understand correctly, one or more persons at BC MCFD could make this happen. PLEASE, be that person. Please take the iniative today to make this a reality. Ayn has already missed spending Thanksgiving & her birthday with her family. In truth, she should not have missed any days - not one.

With the holidays less than a week away, and songs like “I'll Be Home For Christmas” on every station, won't you make this a reality for Ayn, and not just a dream? Please don't keep this child apart from her loving and healthy home because of a developmental handicap. Ayn has autism, but she knows what Christmas is. Ayn has autism, but she knows where her home is and who is waiting for her. Won't you please pick up her file and make the call that will change her life for the better? Won't you please send Ayn home for Christmas and forever?
 

Thank you for all the excellent work you do. Wishing you a beautiful Christmas.

A NOTE TO MCFD

We know you are reading this blog along with thousands of others. Having you visit this blog may be good because you realize what we are all thinking about Ayn still being in custody, now 190 days! 

There must be someone among you with a conscience who will risk doing what their heart is telling them to do ~

PLEASE TAKE THIS LITTLE ONE HOME!

Ayn has been a good girl in custody paying for the crime (which has yet to be stated) long enough.

Do the right thing now and she will be home to celebrate Christmas with her family.

Read what some have said here http://freedomforayn.blogspot.com/2011/12/should-ayn-be-home-for-christmas.html and give Ayn van Dyk the best Christmas present she could get.

PLEASE TAKE HER HOME!

DEAR SANTA

I was thinking about all the kids writing letters to Santa and wondering if Ayn wrote a letter............ I didn't have to ponder long about what she might write. Maybe something like this...............

Dear Santa,

Please Santa help me. I only want 1 thing for Christmas this year; I hope you have time and can maybe find the right person to help you. I have been away from home for 188 days and I don’t know why those people took me from school. They let me go back to school but they won’t let me go home with my Daddy. I know my daddy loves me very much and misses me and can’t come to get me yet. I didn't do anything wrong Santa and neither did my Daddy, why are those people punishing all of us? Please Santa I really want to go home. I miss my Daddy and Mommy, my brothers Wyatt and Lyric, my Uncle Kim and my Grandma. Please Santa will you help me get home for Christmas, home to stay. Thank you Santa.

Love Ayn van Dyk

I wonder if Santa will be able to make this wish come true? Is there anyone out there who works for MCFD who can give Santa some help with this? Can you help Santa make Ayn's Christmas Wish come true?

BRING AYN HOME

Makayla Yaxley has never met Ayn van Dyk, in fact they live nearly 5000 km from each other, half way across Canada.

Makayla's mom told her what happened to Ayn and she is very concerned about her, perhaps because she has a sister she loves very much who is autistic like Ayn. She can understand how difficult this must be for Ayn and she hopes Ayn gets home before Christmas. Makayla says she cant imagine the pain it would feel like not being with those who love her. She knows the struggles Ayn's brothers must be going through because she would be at a total loss if she ever lost her own sister.

Makayla expresses what she is feeling in this artwork she does for Ayn, letting Ayn know that she thinks of her everyday and she'll be asking Santa to send her home for Christmas.

SHOULD AYN BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS?

Today, Dec 13, Ayn has been in custody for 181 days. She does not understand why she was kidnapped from her family and her family has yet to be given a good reason why ~ only that they thought her dad might be overwhelmed caring for her and her two brothers, one who is autistic like Ayn! By all accounts Derek Hoare is a very good parent. Why has she not been returned to him yet?

There are 12 days til Christmas. Do you think she should be home for Christmas, and home to stay?

PLEASE leave a comment to answer the above question and I will send them daily to MCFD.

"GIVE HER BACK TO HER DAD" SAYS THERAPIST

"Oh my gosh I am in tears looking at this picture. These were the days that I was with Ayn 5 days a week. She is beyond words! A child that made me want to help Autistic children for the rest of my life. There is more to Ayn than a social worker knows. Give her back!"   Robyn McHattie, a behavior therapist who worked with Ayn and Derek in their home for 2 of her preschool years.

Robyn McHattie recently reconnected with Derek and has joined the Facebook Support Group. The following account is her personal introduction to the group.................

I worked with Ayn from the time she was 1.5 until she was 3.5 years old. I moved to Alberta then and have never forgotten her. I have looked for Derek for years and finally found him and then found this group. I am sickened to hear about what is going on and it breaks my heart. Derek was THE most amazing father I have EVER met in my entire life and his life was his kids!!! He deserves his kids more then any other person I can think of. I was at their home every day for 2 years and saw the love and devotion and drive he had for his children. I will help in any way that I can!! I am now a foster parent as well as a mental health behavior worker. I look forward to talking with Derek and finding out what I can do to help!!

There is so much more to a child with Autism then anyone will ever know!! People who are naive to the disorder think horrible things and should become educated on the disability before placing a judgement.
I remember working with Ayn, and she still sounds like she has lots of the same traits. She was always very comfortable and happy and at ease at home with her family. She was an eager little girl who loved a challenge and loved it when she accomplished a goal.

Her favourite foods were peanut butter sandwiches on white bread, Mac and cheese and freezzies!! I remember how excited Derek was when Ayn was able to verbally ask for something...... And what she asked for was.....DADDY and freezzies. I remember she ate a lot of freezzies as it was a reinforcer for her language requests.
Ayn loved to be outside!!! It was her happiest place.

A child with Autism is very easily distracted so any little thing can fascinate them to try and seek the item out; maybe a butterfly, maybe a car driving by, maybe a pool and a trampoline in a neighbour’s yard. You can't watch a child’s every move 24/7.
I remember going on community outings with Ayn, they were ALWAYS fun but always challenging. She got very anxious in new settings but she LOVED the car. We went to many different places, go for bananas, the grocery store, the park, the splash park (she was never a fan of the splash park...too overwhelming) There were times it went well and very smoothly and there were times when it proved to be overwhelming for Ayn. People would judge and stare when Ayn had a tantrum but it never bothered us and we would continue on.
People should offer help instead of removing this poor little girl from the man that loves her to no end!

I can't begin to imagine how this has affected both Ayn and Derek.....and so many more. Removing this child from her familiar setting and taking her to an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar faces would have been a horrible experience for her. Why would they not have offered Derik more supports in his home? More supports in school?

It takes an army to raise a child and more than that to raise an Autistic child so this amazing dad should be offered more supports instead of the removal of his loved daughter.

I have not yet had the chance to get in touch with Derek personally but hope to very soon. I will do anything in my power to help this family out. I to will release a balloon for Ayn on her birthday. I have LOTS of pictures of Ayn from when she is younger which I will try to dig out in the next few days and post.

Ayn and Derek I am thinking about you.

A FATHER'S PAIN

Blogger's Note:

How can anyone continue to endure such pain? How can anyone continue, without cause, to inflict this kind of pain on another human being, a dad and his daughter?

Thousands are reaching out to Derek Hoare and his daughter Ayn in the hope that they can make a difference and end their pain and suffering. Why can’t MCFD, the BC Government officials see to it that this ends NOW by taking Ayn home to her family where she belongs?

There are too many questions. We need answers and positive action.

Sharing with you Derek's effort today to express his grief ................

I miss her so much, not sure why these past few days have been so emotional, nothing seems to set it off in particular... just washes over you. Or more like it begins in your chest as a tightness and then diffuses throughout you. Comes and goes... and off to a terrible start today.... dreamt of her again, woke very upset, took 10 minutes just to write this.

And why is it that when we are upset, instinctually we hold our breathe, or stop breathing.... and then proceed to gasp when we can

I still hear her voice and I can close my eyes and see her.... this is just a nightmare

..................gonna be a rough day

..................................it hurts like it was yesterday

terrible.

weird, I don't really know why it is so potent now either, I think it is because now with the proposal out of the way I have time in front of me, and can see the time behind me, and it is so terrible.... i just miss her so much. And when I am busy doing things to get her home it is like I am with her or distracted or something, and now there is just a void filled with pain

DEREK'S DECEMBER UPDATES

December 7

Ayn's Birthday

I figured I would create a doc to summarize some of the things which we are working on for Ayn's birthday, perhaps it will help to facilitate others involvement.

1- Balloons: We will be releasing balloons and/or photographing balloons on her birthday from all over, If you would like to include yourself that would be awesome, all you'll need is a balloon and a sharpie marker, write your birthday wishes to her and snap a shot. Helium and release is optional :)

1b- I will be filling and blowing up several hundred balloons on the 13th hoping to have them all ready in time for her birthday, just how to get them to her I do not yet know... I will be discussing this with several people over the next few day to try to facilitate this as best I can. the options are: Amie visit, school, MCFD delivery, foster home.

2- Cards: I hope ayn will receive many many cards for her birthday, individual ones are great and Jean Nicol is arranging a large one with individual messages. So let her know if you would like your name and message added :) Here is the address to send the cards to:
Ayn vanDyk c/o MCFD
2828 Cruickshank St,
Abbotsford BC Canada
V2T 5M3

3- A Cake: I am hoping to find a place which can add a picture to the top of a cake to help lift Ayn's spirits a bit, and yet keep her family in the front of her mind. Mindblowing that this can and is happening. have yet to select a photo which is another decision to be made in the next couple of days.

4-Balloon and Birthday Wishes event: here we can share our photos from the day and I will try to comment on posts throughout the day, which will no doubt be a very shattering day emotionally.
http://www.facebook.com/events/287821591257014/

I think that is all if I have left anything out feel free to add it, and any other suggestions let us know :)

IN AN INSTANT!

by Jean Nicol

Today as I took a moment to change the date and the day number at the top of this Blog I cried.

There is so much sadness surrounding this sweet innocent little girl with the beautiful smile and engaging laugh, who was thriving and so happy at home with her daddy, uncle and brothers until June 16, 2011. Someone deliberately decided to destroy this little girl's life, her spirit. They did this without any knowledge of who she was and how happy she was with her family where life was so good, so promising. All she knows and may never forget is that strangers came to her school. They were fighting with her and took her away and her daddy wasn't there to help her because they didn't ask him to come help her this time as they usually do. Can we even imagine how frightened she was? If not, then imagine how frightened you would be if you can and that would be little compared to her fear.

In an instant her happiness was over.

In an instant her family she loved so much had disappeared and she still does not know why 175 days later.

In an instant this little one with autism was taken from the very safe, comfortable, predictable environment her loving home provided.

In an instant she was drugged into submission.

In an instant she was living with strangers who did not know or understand her, who she was, what she needed, what she enjoyed, how she communicated her needs, wants, fears, hurts and so much more.

Think about this.................... What would you do if this were your child - and it might be one day.

Think about this.................... The Ministry of Children and Family Development who is responsible for all of the above has the power to change all this and take Ayn home, in fact they have said they will do this - they know that is where she should be.

In an instant Ayn could be home again! Why is this not happening?

BRING AYN BACK!

by Victoria Ettinger



A SPECIAL BIRTHDAY IS COMING SOON!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AYN

On December 14, 2011

a very special little girl named Ayn

will celebrate her 10th birthday.

We are ever hopeful that she will be home for that celebration.

To mark this occasion and help with much needed fundraising I am proposing that we all write our birthday wishes to Ayn here in a comment and make a $10 donation to the fund in Ayn's honor.

To make a donation you can click on the "GIVE" button on this blog or

1:) You can  mail cheques payable to Ayn's Freedom Fund to:
Ayn's Freedom Fund
67-13822 102 Ave
Surrey, BC
V3T 1P1


2:) The Fundrazr Donation Page is found here: http://goo.gl/gJ6Sz

3:) Email funds using www.hyperwallet.com                    

4:) Or donate directly to the PayPal account at aynsfreedomfund@gmail.com


PLEASE write your birthday wishes and make your donation today. THANKS!

I will later transfer all your comments to one very large card to give to Ayn.