AYN STILL WAITS TO GO HOME

Two years ago, this beautiful 9 year old child with autism was stolen from her family by Child Protective Services in Abbottsford, BC, Canada. In Dec 2012, after 536 days of Ayn being held in captivity, the BC Ministry of Child and Family Development stated that Ayn was never in need of their protection, dad's parenting skills were never in question and she would be soon going home to her family.

This was a picture taken of Ayn not long after she was abducted.

It has now been 731 days since Ayn was abducted from school. She has missed many happy days where she thrived with her family including 2 birthdays, 2 Christmas celebrations, 8 birthday celebrations for her parents and 2 brothers at home while she was living alone in a basement suite of a foster house with paid staff to watch her while the foster parents (very well compensated financially) worked and went about their daily lives.

With constant crying for Daddy, Ayn was given a picture of Daddy, Derek Hoare.

The BC Government is ultimately responsible for this travesty (and many others like it) ~ they are all very aware of and ignoring Ayn's story while collecting thousands of dollars of federal funds monthly to pay for depriving her of the happy family life she has a right to enjoy. Oh, and our Federal Government, including Mr. Harper the Prime Minister of Canada, are very aware of the many children in similar situations being denied their basic human rights with no consideration of justice.

It has now been 195 days since thousands of supporters celebrated the announcement that Ayn was coming home................ she is still waiting for this joyous occasion!

A recent picture we have of Ayn on a visit with her mom, Amie van Dyk.

NO UPDATE BUT THE DATE!

It has been many months since Derek Hoare has been able to share any news with us about Ayn. her mother's visits have gone from non existent to infrequent at best. Lately it has become difficult to come here everyday to change the date and the count of days Ayn has been away from her family. Today is Day 349 and none of us can imagine the pain this family has been made to endure these past 349 days.

For me personally the only way for me to relate to their pain is that which I have felt with the death of someone I loved. The pain of such loss, although less intense with time, can go on for many years, perhaps forever. What has been stolen from Ayn and her family can never be regained. They can't celebrate her 10th birthday or the Christmas of 2011. It will be a long time after she comes home to them, maybe not until February 2013, that the memories of this time apart will not haunt them all.

Thousands of people, globally, wait in hope and prayer that somehow a miracle can happen to end this horrific situation sooner than after the last court date set for February 2013. I guess we are hoping and praying that there is a person within the BC Government, MCFD itself who will see the senselessness of this situation and right the terrible wrong that has been done to this young child and her family.

On June 16, 2012 it will be the one year anniversary of Ayn's abduction. This never should have happened at all and the BC Government dares to say they put "families first" and they have the audacity to call this the Ministry of Children and Family Development. Canadian Government officials have chosen to do nothing. I am proud to be a Canadian but I am ashamed of our governments.

DEREK ASKS US ALL, " PLEASE WALK WITH ME IN THIS BATTLE"

So where to even begin.... as I am sure most would understand the last 8 ½ months have been beyond nightmarish. Tortuous does not begin to describe this either, the reality is that I have dedicated my life to my kids. I have dropped everything to ensure their happiness and development and to have this culminate in an attack by my own government, who has taken no time to understand my children or my family yet claim some authoritarian power over it is monstrous. To make matters worse this is being done under the guise of “help”. They throw around phrases like “child’s best interest” as if they empower them with some dictatorial aura, yet have no idea what those words even mean.

We are now 8 ½ months in..... 263 days..... and my daughter has yet to see an autism expert. The closest she came was a tertiary glance by their resident expert on day 45, who told them to not treat my child as a psych patient. I have requested the assessment, input and opinion of an autism expert since the very beginning, yet we continue to wait. How quickly they rushed to have her drugged and put into a psych ward, yet still have yet to enlist the expertise of an expert in her known, diagnosed condition... autism. I have spent dozens and dozens of hours trying to explain the situation to them, trying to explain how to appropriately treat a child with autism, to try to get them to understand the concerning behaviours of autism and how it was this terrible mistake was made.

Within the first six months Ayn had already had 4 different social workers, this fact has been used as a consistent excuse by MCFD who justifies their inaction and ignorance with a claim of “staffing issues”. And while I try to be empathetic to the daunting task faced by each new worker to get caught up to speed, the reality is that my child and family continues to languish whilst this persists. And rather than pick up where we left off with the previous social worker they simply want to begin anew, of course each time however we are further along in the unabating process.

MCFD continues to arrive to the variety of meetings uninformed, operating under a blanket liability protection which does not hold them to any standard of quality.

What I am about to type will require qualification and I will be drawing up an elaborate timeline of this whole ordeal to do so; however the reality is that MCFD has not done anything in terms of an investigation or a plan of care since Sept 20th, nothing. On Sept 26th they were granted a 22 day interim order to give them time to complete an investigation (which never happened), we are still operating under that interim order to this day... that is 159 days.... on a 22 day order. Now is the painfully slow judicial process to blame? No not really, it would be nice if the wait times were not as long as they are, but that is no excuse for MCFD to literally have done nothing in terms of my daughters care or keeping me informed of her well being. I have faced: broken promises, lies, threats, stonewalling, willful ignorance, silence... ohhh the silence.

Now as per the restrictions on my speech in regards to the Mar 2nd Mediation, I will try to elaborate on my understanding therein. Sect 24 of the CFCSA is quite clear that anything “obtained” in mediation must not be disclosed, so in essence anything NEW which was disclosed at mediation cannot be disclosed, except under a few circumstances which I likely do not meet, except arguably “d) if the disclosure is necessary for a child’s safety”. However until I get some further clarification on that point I will refrain from such disclosure. Now that does not mean I have to shut up or that anyone else does either, as a matter of fact screaming from the rooftops is one of the few recourses left available to us and I intend to use it.

With that said I am facing an escalating battle not an improving one, one which is taking place on many different fronts; my time on FB will be limited, my time in front of cameras or in print will be on the rise, and the time I need to spend studying will also continue to be pressed only to the limits of my fatigue. I ask for everyone’s help spreading the word about this and keeping up a dialog on how it is we got to this point and what we can do to inform others of what is happening, not simply in regards to Ayn, but to the “child protection system” which has strayed so far from its goal to now become an imposing threat to the safety of children and not the heroic saviour they would like to cast themselves to be. If the populace knew how this worked it would not be tolerated, and in fact will serve as a clear exemplification of why the granting of such powers under blanket liability protections is a terrible and dangerous thing.

So please please please, walk with me in this battle, in whatever capacity your individual talents endow. We have been setting up groups to facilitate this movement, and will need all the help we can get; what it will take is simply communication and coordination between everyone.

We love our kids, and we as their parents need to advocate for them.... to treat an issue as serious as the removal of a child(ren) with such casual disregard is not tolerable, my child is not a number....

Her name is Ayn... she has hopes, dreams, fears and loves.... I am one of them and I will not let her down.

NOT THE UPDATE WE HOPED FOR

Yesterday, until mid afternoon Pacific Time, many lingered on the facebook group page https://www.facebook.com/groups/justiceforayn/  waiting to hear what we all hoped for – the news that Ayn would soon be taken home where she should be.................... However, we were not going to get the news we had all prayed for. Here is Derek’s message to us last night.

We arrived early for the case conference which was set to begin at 10:45. It started a bit late, likely closer to 11. The meeting is in an informal setting at a round table where all parties are to discuss the situation as it stands, what the hang ups are and how we can move forward from here. Time is very short so all points are made in extreme brevity, I tried my best to outline some of my frustrations and concerns.

I did not walk away with any greater understanding of MCFD's position, though they were questioned about it many times. My understanding of the "conference" before entering was that it was my chance to finally get the judicial process to the point where I can argue my position before an unbiased judge. In that it was successful, there was alot of pressure to put off the trial and wait until after mediation. However, I was adamant that I wanted that opportunity.

It was very emotional for me, I cried several times, and tried to get them to see the harm they were doing to a beautiful girl and her loving family. My lawyer requested a brief recess towards the end to try to reduce my emotions, upon my return I did get them to agree to a trial. With that we set off to the court clerk to find some available dates.... well my lawyer did, I went outside where my emotions again poured out rather embarrassingly. A group member did happen to pop in and was right there to let me cry on their shoulder.

I then went in to sign off that I had received my dates (yet another pink slip); but this one was different it was the finishline, win or lose it will be the end. So here they are: Oct 23rd- pretrial, Dec 7th- Trial begins, Jan 30th 2013 second trial date, Jan 31st third, Feb 1st fourth, Feb 14th fifth, and finally Feb 15th completion (this could elongate mind you). So now finally we can see the end of the judicial process, a year away but we can see it. This does not mean that the ministerial process is over but that the oversight of the courts has reached its point where a trial is set to determine the justifiability of this.

I am meeting with the new SW on Wed, where I do hope to discern where this process is headed from here in terms of the ministry, I hope to continue where it had left off but as of yet I am still in limbo.

I do know that are going to begin drafting a counter proposal to offer me, but I have to wait weeks longer for that to complete, it is "hoped" that it could be done by Feb 24th, a week prior to my Formal mediation which is scheduled for March 2, I believe.

So tonight I ponder what to do and where to go from here, lots of possibilities lie before me and I am sorting through it all. Will be posting more and am hopeful that I'll get lots of input and advice from everyone.

 

BLOGGER'S NOTE: For the coming year Ayn and her family are going to need as much support as possible to do what needs to be done to ensure Ayn is returned home as soon as possible. Please show your support by joining our facebook support group https://www.facebook.com/groups/justiceforayn - just joining the group is an indication of your support. If you want to actively participate in the group as well, you will be warmly welcomed.

You could also show your support by commenting below which I am sure Derek will appreciate reading. Thank you.

THE LONG AWAITED CASE CONFERENCE WITH MCFD

On Monday January 23, 2012 Derek will finally have the opportunity to present to a Case Conference with MCFD who will hopefully outline their plan for Ayn's future care. This conference could have been held long ago, making much of the pain and anguish of the past 7+ months perhaps nonexistent.



In November, 2011Derek prepared a Public Information Press Release https://www.facebook.com/groups/justiceforayn/251604358246392/?notif_t=like#!/groups/justiceforayn/doc/215086771898151/  This was really the last update, as since then, there has been nothing to report other than Derek’s December  presentation of his Proposal for Ayn’s care that he was asked to prepare. To date he has had no response from MCFD concerning his proposal.



Derek recently spoke briefly about some of his recent frustrations:



"Ayn has now had 4 SW's in these now 7 months. The previous worker will not be returning and I have yet to speak to the new worker, have left some messages and really wanted to speak with them prior to Monday though that is dubious at best at this point. I have invited them to my house next Wednesday but do not know if they will indeed come. The entire fiasco around worker changes (3 in just over a month) has been incredibly frustrating and has clearly resulted in delays. Still no word on my proposal and I cannot imagine the task which lies before this new worker to get caught up on not just my file but all of the previous workers files."



Although this is Conference on January 23 is not held in a courtroom, a judge will be present and will begin by describing the function of the 1-hour Case Conference, his powers and limitations in this setting.



Derek will present a Case Conference Brief for the judge to read, including a 1 page timeline, nor more than 2 pages of facts, one page statement of defense, what he is requesting. The latter will ideally be Ayn’s immediate return home, but failing that, a request for future court dates to be established at this conference. It is unfathomable how it could take over seven months for Derek to have the first opportunity to be heard concerning what has happened to his daughter, then in a limited time of one hour.



The Case Conference Brief is an important document; it sets the stage for the conference and provides MCFD with a record of Derek’s position.


The judge begins by describing the function of the 1 hour Case Conference, his powers and limitations in this setting.


Dad/Mom's lawyers give their version of the overview of the case to the judge.


MCFD’s presentation will indicate their plans and make it known whether they are willing to bargain and mediate. If the latter is not an option they will be asked to present information to defend their actions.



If an agreement cannot be reached it will be necessary to discuss considerations for a future court trial: witness count and names, length of time required for the trial, discussion of court date and pre-trial date as well as a date of the judge’s appointment for the trial.



A child has been deprived of her basic human rights https://www.facebook.com/groups/justiceforayn/doc/161664610573701/  deprived from having contact with her father and brothers for over seven months. Now in just 1 hour it will be decided if she will return home to her loving family or if MCFD will continue this unjust abuse of a 10 year old child with autism.



The happiest and really only acceptable conclusion to this long awaited hour will be if Ayn is immediately returned home where the healing process can begin and she can continue to thrive as she had quite splendidly done for the first nine and a half years of her life. This family tree can then be completed and a family can get back to what they do best – loving and caring for each other.

                  Thank you to Victoria Ettinger who contiues to honor Ayn and her family with her creations.


Derek, Amie, Wyatt, Lyric and your extended family, we want you to know that you are in the daily thoughts of thousands who support you from around the world. Know you will be in our thoughts especially over the next few days as we pray for a positive outcome on January 23^rd.

A CHRISTMAS THAT'S GONE FOREVER.............

I'm sure it goes without saying that I have been hurting over these holidays... my boys have been hurting, my ex has been hurting, the family is hurting. I do hope Ayn was able to find some happiness today, I hope she was sufficiently distracted to recall the nightmare she is trapped within. I cannot, in fact I would not even if I could, I need to know this feeling. 

Each Christmas around the world people gather together for gift giving and great meals; they tell stories, share laughter and embrace those they hold dearest. These are days I do not get back.... ever. I can and will be having great celebrations upon Ayn's return however these days are gone...nearly 200 now. On its face it would seem that the worst thing about this is having your child taken but it isn't. The worst thing is being powerless to get them back, it is the indifference shown by a powerful bureaucracy and how it disregards care and logic for policy and salaries. 

There is no reason for keeping this girl from her family, but they don't care, they have her and this is simply their function so they perform it. To them this is just how it is, they feign kindness, they feign caring... but the reality is they do not even know Ayn, they do not even care to know her.... how is it they can then claim to know what is best?? 

Child Protection Services is not a person, it is a faceless abstract created by us, the people for whom it supposed to serve. We create and fund these entities under the notion that children need to be protected... but that is where it ends for most of us... with a notion. We do not read the laws, we do not learn the policies, we do not examine audits; in short we do not take the time to see if it is working. We rest on the assumption that because its purpose was pure and its function is good that everything must be ok.... well its not ok. And if I could give people anything this Christmas it would be courage to change these things. 

I don't think people ever sat and imagined what would happen if this institution we created to protect children became so bureaucratic and policy driven that it did not take the time to actually thoughfully examine what might be best for a family. they get over 1 000 000 000 dollars a year here in BC.... they still have never bothered to determine how my daughter behaved in the home, nary a question to that effect. Do we understand what that means, when an organization that powerful can remove children without even having to consider how the child was in the home. And yet it continues to be funded it and we continue to look away.... seeking comfort in the original notion... children need to be protected.

I still have two children and now I have the knowledge that there exists this institution which can march in and kidnap your child at the whim of someone who does not even know you... this is not something that sits well... When they took my daughter I didn't know what to do, I only knew that it was wrong. I love my children and would never harm them, I have sought to learn the most I can about their disability and to try to understand them and how best to treat them.... but they still took her anyway. They did not spend an hour of thought on my daughter or my family but felt that they had the authority to do this to people. I am fairly certain that they cannot keep her forever, but that may be simply me turning to another institution and the notion under which it was founded... Justice.

On this Christmas I hope everyone holds their loved ones closely and focuses on the happiness which they can bring to one another. 

I have spent the past few days giving some much needed attention to my boys Wyatt and Lyric, whom I would like to thank so much and to let everyone know how proud I am of them, they have both shown such great strength and character in the midst of all this strife. 

And to all of you who have supported me throughout this, I know I have thanked you all so many times and I do not want it to lose its lusture but please know that it has meant so much for me in this battle that there are others still out there for whom child protection is more than just a notion. That you all can put a face on those children and take some of your time to help fight for them is a wonderful thing... and hopefully it means that we as a people have not reached a point of apathy where we will sit idly by as noble concepts get ripped to shreds.

Please have a Merry Christmas everyone, do not lament in my sadness, find it as a reason to share your joys and loves with others whom you find worthy of it. Cherish them and each moment you have together. Time is fleeting but our love does not have to be. Thank you so much everyone, enjoy your holidays. I am going to go and hug my boys and look at pictures of my baby girl.

This little girl needs to be back

in her daddy’s arms.

"GIVE HER BACK TO HER DAD" SAYS THERAPIST

"Oh my gosh I am in tears looking at this picture. These were the days that I was with Ayn 5 days a week. She is beyond words! A child that made me want to help Autistic children for the rest of my life. There is more to Ayn than a social worker knows. Give her back!"   Robyn McHattie, a behavior therapist who worked with Ayn and Derek in their home for 2 of her preschool years.

Robyn McHattie recently reconnected with Derek and has joined the Facebook Support Group. The following account is her personal introduction to the group.................

I worked with Ayn from the time she was 1.5 until she was 3.5 years old. I moved to Alberta then and have never forgotten her. I have looked for Derek for years and finally found him and then found this group. I am sickened to hear about what is going on and it breaks my heart. Derek was THE most amazing father I have EVER met in my entire life and his life was his kids!!! He deserves his kids more then any other person I can think of. I was at their home every day for 2 years and saw the love and devotion and drive he had for his children. I will help in any way that I can!! I am now a foster parent as well as a mental health behavior worker. I look forward to talking with Derek and finding out what I can do to help!!

There is so much more to a child with Autism then anyone will ever know!! People who are naive to the disorder think horrible things and should become educated on the disability before placing a judgement.
I remember working with Ayn, and she still sounds like she has lots of the same traits. She was always very comfortable and happy and at ease at home with her family. She was an eager little girl who loved a challenge and loved it when she accomplished a goal.

Her favourite foods were peanut butter sandwiches on white bread, Mac and cheese and freezzies!! I remember how excited Derek was when Ayn was able to verbally ask for something...... And what she asked for was.....DADDY and freezzies. I remember she ate a lot of freezzies as it was a reinforcer for her language requests.
Ayn loved to be outside!!! It was her happiest place.

A child with Autism is very easily distracted so any little thing can fascinate them to try and seek the item out; maybe a butterfly, maybe a car driving by, maybe a pool and a trampoline in a neighbour’s yard. You can't watch a child’s every move 24/7.
I remember going on community outings with Ayn, they were ALWAYS fun but always challenging. She got very anxious in new settings but she LOVED the car. We went to many different places, go for bananas, the grocery store, the park, the splash park (she was never a fan of the splash park...too overwhelming) There were times it went well and very smoothly and there were times when it proved to be overwhelming for Ayn. People would judge and stare when Ayn had a tantrum but it never bothered us and we would continue on.
People should offer help instead of removing this poor little girl from the man that loves her to no end!

I can't begin to imagine how this has affected both Ayn and Derek.....and so many more. Removing this child from her familiar setting and taking her to an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar faces would have been a horrible experience for her. Why would they not have offered Derik more supports in his home? More supports in school?

It takes an army to raise a child and more than that to raise an Autistic child so this amazing dad should be offered more supports instead of the removal of his loved daughter.

I have not yet had the chance to get in touch with Derek personally but hope to very soon. I will do anything in my power to help this family out. I to will release a balloon for Ayn on her birthday. I have LOTS of pictures of Ayn from when she is younger which I will try to dig out in the next few days and post.

Ayn and Derek I am thinking about you.

THERE ARE TWO SIDES TO EVERY STORY

How often have you said or heard it said, “There are two sides to every story!” Most of us likely have life experiences that would indicate this to be true most of the time. I think we can be pretty sure that there are two sides to the story about Ayn Van Dyk being abducted from school, drugged and placed in foster care for now 165 days.

We know one side of the story and if you don’t yet you will by the time you read “PLEA FOR AYN”, Derek’s updates and other blog entries here. But this is only one side of the story and you may not be believing it without hearing the other side of the story.

This is a true story.

Child Protective Services takes a child into custody we suppose, and have always believed, because the child needs protection. However this would not seem to be so in this case as CPS has left the two sons of Derek Hoare (one who is autistic) in his capable and loving care. They have no questions about his parenting skills or the safety of the boys.

Yes, Ayn did wander away to a neighbours yard several days before she was abducted from school by CPS but that couldn’t be the reason for their concern as she has wandered from foster care more frequently (twice in a month) than she did from home and she was not removed from the foster home. Actually one time she wandered while in respite care from the foster home. The second time she climbed out a small bathroom window in the foster home. At the time she was unsupervised while bathing so when she ran on the main street she was naked. The bathroom window was not locked as her father had advised would be necessary to ensure her safety.

We do know a bit about events of concern while Ayn has been in foster homes but we do not know the other side of the story yet. Even after 165 days, MCFD has not been forthcoming with their side of the story as to why Ayn is not at home with her family. Nor has Ayn's father or anyone else been able to speak on behalf of the family or Ayn. Perhaps this might happen on January 23 - Day 222 of Ayn's captivity!

This is a true story and truly an unbelievable story.

A child is suffering and being kept from her family. Her 10th birthday is in 17 days on December 14 and Christmas is 11 days later; two very special occasions for this family when they should all be celebrating together.

It is truly an unbelievable story.

Would someone, anyone, at MCFD please have the conscience, empathy and courage to step forward and do the right thing for this innocent little girl and her family?

We are all waiting to hear the other side of the story!

Let's bring the laughter and love back into this little one's life!

THIS IS NOT JUSTICE

by Ron Unruh

Justice does not mean treating everyone the same way but rather treating people appropriately. Neither Ayn Van Dyk who carries her mother’s surname nor her father Derek Hoare who is her primary caregiver and legal custodial parent, have been treated appropriately by the social workers and their immediate supervisors. That is, it means little that they hold meetings with Derek to mediate the parameters of a possible or an eventual return of this girl to her father’s immediate care, when the presenting issue was the Ministry’s avoidable removal of the child from his care and his home. That was inappropriate treatment.

To look after one’s own child should not require special pleading of human rights language but it definitely has in a case like Ayn’s, an autistic child of nine years of age, soon to be ten. To be made to bear personal responsibility for autistic manifestations at a public school and for a characteristic wanderlust from one’s backyard that warrants a physical apprehension and removal by strangers and a separation from the family who give meaning to her life is beyond scandalous. It is wicked. It is the epitome of incompetence.

Fair-minded people find no justification in the mission and policy of the Ministry of Children and Family Development, for seizing this particular child, defaulting to a hasty drug behavioural control program, placing her in environments and with people with whom she is unfamiliar, and distressing her so she carries a photo of her father everywhere and kisses that image in lieu of the real face, and is tortured by the knowledge that she can’t be with her dad and her brothers whom she adores.

This is not appropriate treatment and it is therefore not justice.

It's Time To Do What Is Right

“The time is always right to do what is right.” ...... Dr Martin Luther King

Today is October 31. It has been 138 days since Ayn van Dyk, a 9 year old girl with autism, was abducted from school by CPS/MCFD in British Columbia, Canada. This was done to "lighten her father's load" ~ by taking Ayn he would only have 2 children to care for, one who has autism as well. It is impossible to imagine one person, let alone a team of social workers, thinking they would be doing anyone in this family any favors by kidnapping their only sister and daughter. How horrific this must have been for this little girl, strangers stealing her away to a strange house and  people; then to a psychiatric hospital unit where she was heavily drugged.

IF YOU ARE NOT OUTRAGED keep reading and you will be. If your are one of thousands enraged by this story, keep reading through posts on this blog and be ready to learn how wide spread this practice is. Be aware, be prepared so this does not happen to you or someone you love.

What has happened in 4 months? Time has past but not much has changed.

Derek has yet to be heard in court and no date has been set for this to happen. He meets regularly with MCFD staff and he has been told that they will be sending Ayn home but not for 4 more months and with conditions, all of which he will have great difficulty agreeing to. They had no "just cause" to abduct Ayn in the first place and they certainly have found, quite to the contrary, that there is no "just cause" for keeping her. Why are they still keeping her in custody? This a question everyone is asking for which no answer has been given.

What are your thoughts? Please leave us a comment.

“Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.”...........Henry Van Dyk

Here is Derek Hoare's plea written 4 months ago.........................

My name is Derek I am a single father of three wonderful young children, aged 9, 10 and 11; my youngest two have both been diagnosed with severe autism. Though a constant and challenging struggle, I have done my best to protect and nurture them, as I love them so much and have dedicated my life to their achievement of happiness. My youngest child is a bright and beautiful little spitfire named Ayn. She has and is blossoming so well here at home and has come so far to overcome her obvious disability, she does however continue to struggle and outburst when in other environments, particularly at school.

Ayn is naive and unaware of the dangers that exist in the world at large, so when on Sunday June 12th she escaped the backyard we were very worried for her safety. With each passing moment the likelihood that something terrible had happened increased, as Ayn should stand out from other children easily and should have been quickly spotted. Fortunately Ayn was discovered two doors down playing in a neighbours backyard, the neighbour had taken an afternoon nap which provided Ayn with the ability to play undisturbed. The challenges I have faced in caring for my daughter have been encompassing and life altering, these challenges are very dynamic and new challenges arise as fast as the old one depart. Now with her discovery of the neighbours nearby trampoline and pool, she will undoubtedly seek to return there, vigilance will be required to face this new found challenge, but it is one which I must now face just as I have with each prior challenge and as i would have to with our future challenges as well. As it stands today I may never get that opportunity.

On the morning of June 16th two workers from CPS arrived at my home to request that I "voluntarily" give Ayn over to them (she was at school at the time), if I refused they would simply coercively remove her. There should be no illusions here when someone approaches you and says "give me your child or i'm taking her" you should not pretend that any such choice would be done "voluntarily".

Within hours of her removal Ayn had hospitalized and drugged with powerful neuroleptics, one of which at double the maximum daily dose. Her whereabouts has been concealed from me, due to me refusing to sign the voluntary agreement. And I will not be given the opportunity to argue before an impartial court as per why this was a wrongful removal for months. After twelve days of hospitalization, in which the hospital noted "no bruises or evidence of physical abuse and her body status showed no evidence of neglect" , and "Initially there was some suspicion of ADHD along with autistic aggression, but this dissipated as Ayn improved...".

The hospital insisted on discharging her (june 28th), she is now in foster care awaiting further hospitalization as the Ministry has waitlisted Ayn for a longer term residential based psychiatric assessment. My little girl is autistic, she does not require a psychiatric assessment, I am aware that she does not understand the dangers that lurk, I love her and I protect her, when Ayn has a tantrum at school it is me they either call in to calm her or send her home to, when she is injured it is to me whom she turns because she "needs a bandage". The greatest successes this little girl has had were nurtured in the home, she loves it here, she loves her brothers and she loves her Dad, It is my firm belief that if our system of child protection has reached a point where a happy thriving child who was not abused and in no need of medicating, can be coercively removed from their family, forcibly medicated within hours, denied access to that family punitively, and the family is given no redress for months potentially years; then we are indeed facing a serious systemic problem. A problem which unfortunately is not confined to my city or province, nor even my country, for these acts are playing out around the world. Please help me get my little girl back and to address this issue in such a way that it never affects another family again.

I would be forever in your debt,

Derek (July28th, 2011)

IF IT CAN HAPPEN TO AYN ......

by Dr. Ron Unruh

The blog title seems to be an apparent leap in logic that parents of autistic children are making but it is entirely reasonable. If nine year old Ayn can be removed from her daddy whom she loves, other children who may wander from home or display bizarre behaviour in a public venue can similarly risk removal from their parental homes. That is what is concerning parents of autistic children and members of autism societies and support groups and research organizations.

Ayn’s case is typical of so many family situations in which disabled children have not been neglected or abused by their caregiving parents but after cursory investigation, government agencies have jumped to the default protection option – take the child away.

Derek calls his daughter Ayn an amazing work in progress, a young girl who can appreciate baking and music and photography. She is an affectionate child with her dad and her two brothers, one of whom is also autistic. She does communicate albeit with challenges. Her in-school experience has been burdened with lack of educational resources for a person with her condition. A house re-location placed her in a new school with activities that accommodate disabilities such as Ayn’s. While Ayn was adjusting to this new welcoming environment, she still became aggressive and lashed out and put fellow students at some risk. This led to isolation procedures and a safety plan concerning her.
Then in August of 2010 in the hopes that a new city might provide a new beginning for Ayn, Derek moved his family to a different home and city which introduced to Ayn a new school. In that school a small personal room was constructed within a classroom which provided separation from the school population. She still experienced days of severe agitation. This resulted in Ayn’s care team, of which an MCFD representative was a member, designed a four-tiered behavioural ‘safety plan.’ There were different levels of intervention that were applicable when Ayn was observed to be violent and perhaps prone to self-injury. An aspect of the intervention was a calm down area constructed within her little room that was dressed with gym mat padding to prevent her from hurting herself. She was given a blanket and music and a rocking chair with which to calm herself as part of this strategy but it proved to be ineffective. Her aggression did not subdue but escalated.

The care team began reviewing a possibility that Ayn’s aggressive outbursts may have a dual diagnosis but Derek rejected this proposition. Derek believed that the ‘safety plan’ had informed Ayn that she could manipulate the administrators. His contention was that since she did not behave this way at home, it was the school environment that provoked this behaviour, and the calming strategy was a contributing factor. So whatever progress was being made at home to modify Ayn’s behaviour through loving relationships was not consistent with the techniques employed at school.

The school did not agree with Derek.

Derek had some prior interaction with MCFD. The earliest occurred several years ago, involving his oldest son who is a neurotypical child, whereas Ayn and he middle brother are autistic. This boy lost his kitten and was given permission by Derek to look though the neighbourhood and cross certain streets. His son crossed one that had not been permitted and made a pay phone call to 911 to announce his lost cat. Two days later, CPS came to Derek’s door alleging that the boy had abused the emergency service system and that he was ill-supervised. Nothing more came of this but a couple of years later the same boy was playing in a local park but was unsupervised. Somehow CPS was notified and then demanded to know why Derek allowed this. Derek’s explanation was that he had two disabled children whose care he and to prioritize and he did not want to place his oldest normal child under virtual house arrest. The boy was then nine years of age and Derek was informed that the ‘community standard’ does not permit a young child to play unsupervised in the park. Whether Derek knowing what he now knows, would now reconsider his response if faced with the same issue is unknown, but his passion for civil rights at the time found expression by his assertion that the Charter of Rights surely supersedes the ‘community standard’ and the Charter allows people to freely move about. Derek wanted to voice record this interaction but the CPS representative refused and left. In that earlier altercation, CPS returned weeks later and demanded that he undergo a risk assessment which he did and he heard nothing more, and therefore assumed he had passed. This was the start of the adversarial relationship that has most recently culminated in the apprehension of his daughter Ayn.

You can read some extensive coverage of this story well written by San Pedro Special Education Examiner Carrie Russo, and published by Examiner.com on August 2-9, 2011
Part One : http://www.examiner.com/special-education-in-long-beach/parents-beware-ayn-s-story-it-could-happen-to-you
Part Two : http://www.examiner.com/special-education-in-long-beach/parents-beware-ayn-s-story-it-can-happen-to-you-part-2
Part Three : http://www.examiner.com/special-education-in-long-beach/parents-beware-it-could-happen-to-you-part-3

AUTISM PRIMER WITH RELATION TO AYN

By Dr. Ron Unruh

Ayn is autistic. She wandered from home. She was found. Days later MCFD removed her from her daddy’s home. Well not quite. They surreptitiously apprehended her at her school when her daddy wasn’t there. Is Christy Clark’s MCFD really in harmony with her widely touted pro-family credo? )

For the uninitiated Autism is characterized, by a triad of social impairments, namely impairment of social recognition, of social communication, and of social understanding and imagination, or stated as three types of disability:

• Rigidity of thought and behaviour, and limited imagination or imaginative play where the individual may carry out ritualistic actions, or focus upon minor details (such as an item of clothing rather than the person, or part of a toy rather than the whole thing);
• Limited verbal and non-verbal communication with a lack of true two-way conversational skills, a failure to understand the emotions, gestures, or ideas of others, and an over-literalness in interpreting what is said; Difficulty with social relationships, with an appearance of aloofness or indifference, and with inappropriate or repetitive styles of approach if contact is initiated.

It is a daunting and unfortunate reality that although childhood autism is occurring in almost ‘epidemic’ proportions, the government and doctors still have very little knowledge about properly structuring the best kind of teaching. It’s certain that the child protection units around here do not understand autism or SWs would not injudiciously take a child that is happy at home and place her in a strange and clinical place for days, and then finally place her in a foster home where we must hope there are foster parents who are acquainted with the requisite care needed by Ayn VanDyk.

If the Abbotsford crew of MCFD child protection workers were informed, they would not have taken Ayn VanDyk from her father Derek Hoare. They would instead have spared no effort to learn what resources they could make available to Derek that would assist him to continue the remarkable level of love and care he provides to his three children and in fact would enhance that care.

An autistic child needs structured instruction in order to learn and to develop. The need for structure in learning is supported by bases such as these. Autistic children do not use or respond to language with ease as do other children. Some find great difficulty communicating what they want to say. Sometimes that difficulty translates into aggressive behaviour and/or tantrums. Autistic children can experience difficulty accessing their sequential memories (keeping events in order). This too may render the child uncooperative or belligerent.

Yet the autistic child will react better to a consistent, modeled and reinforced pattern of behaviour and teaching. For that reason some of the best teaching and learning that can develop an autistic child, begins and ends at home. For Ayn, home is where Derek and her brothers are. In this home is where this child learns to become a functioning member of society, to interact with those close to her, to have manners, to do certain things that will help her grow and develop. Ayn VanDyk has been receiving all of this loving and caring structure in her home and this has been appreciatively augmented in a local school. MCFD upset all of this.

THE MCFD GUIDANCE SYSTEM MALFUNCTIONS

By Dr. Ron Unruh

What I am coming to believe is that many social workers do not know what is expected of them as they perform their work. Most of them have entered their careers with honourable intentions to help people, seniors, adults, children and families. Those social workers who choose to go into child protection are motivated to enable families and to protect children.

When case after case surfaces wherein the action of the social worker is challenged by parents and it becomes clear that such action is contestable because it flies in the face of reasonable, objective, social work practice, the guidance system has malfunctioned.

The Child, Family and Community Services Act has provided the guidance. It contains the rationale, justification for and procedures mandated for delivery of government social services to the province’s citizens. Some people argue the Act itself should be jettisoned or overhauled. I trust the experienced opinion of a few people whom I know who think this way. Nonetheless that is our guidance. The guidance system is operated by the staff that is required to make delivery of services according to the Act. Where, within this system is the malfunction occurring? It’s anyone’s guess at the moment. No one has done a suitable assessment recently. It’s been more than a decade since the last inquiry which resulted in scores of recommendations to improve the guidance system and delivery of social services. It has taken years to implement the recommendations and meanwhile we continue to have serious performance issues in the Ministry of Children and Family Development.

So it is the human element that is the cause for periodic malfunctions experienced by the guidance system that is used for day to day social work. And I am unconvinced that the front line case worker is the one to whom a finger should be predictably pointed. The Act is being interpreted by those who occupy positions up the chain, whether Team Leaders or eventually Directors. Social Workers have some latitude for personal decision making but they also receive orders. Directors apply their title to the various applications associated with child protection. They know case details, give approval to courses of action, and even issue instructions. The onus falls to the Directors to insure clean cases, no foul-ups, no miscues, no lapses of attention, no missed signs, and no dumb choices. To affect a stellar performance rating, the interpretation of the ACT is critical and if the interpretation is motivated by expediency and convenience, then injustices occur.

Taking Ayn Van Dyk from her father Derek Hoare was a Team decision. Social workers did not perpetrate that without approval. What is missing at the Team level? They knew that the removal would commit this child to months of foster or institutional care. They knew that this action would require court appearances, orders, court time, legal counsel, and the expenditure of tens of thousands of dollars. What is missing among Team members that they could not arrive at a plan of action that incorporated a thorough investigation of the child’s home situation, health and care; a gracious, collaborative relationship with Derek that might result in aid provided to him rather than a daughter taken from him? The Team has stepped away from the guidance and resorted to winging it. The system is flawed by humans who err in judgement and then defence kicks in and self-justification, and handy 'confidentiality' silence, and so we go. One family’s agony laid upon another family's horror until we have a mountain of irregularities created by the MCFD. Perhaps that is why social workers with the excellence tags leave after about two years with the MCFD. They can’t take it any more. Neither can we.

Derek's Decision re Visiting Ayn in Foster Care

by Derek Hoare

I know the issue of visitation is extremely divisive, and that my view is likely in the minority... but I want people to understand this was made neither lightly nor thoughtlessly... I do soo long to see her believe me. And hence I can completely understand peoples reasons for doing so, it is the natural response; I must however look at this in a long term manner... when Ayn comes home and this is... "behind us", will she feel safe, will she know that I would not leave her behind.

 

 

If you view this for a moment and imagine yourself the victim of an assault laying there pleading for help, or to come home. And your loved one arrives... you are so happy to see them as they are you, but rather than take you away from the situation they walk away leaving you there.... now when it is over and you return.... how do you view that person? What sort of betrayal would you feel... you may be able to understand judicial processes and rationalize why the person left you there... Ayn does not. All she will know is that I would walk away and leave her there rather than honour her wish to come home. that I had the ability to save her but walked away instead... who can she then trust?? that is a permanent realization it does not go away. 

 

 

Many of my closest allies and advisors in this, think I should see her, but they respect my view as I do theirs. For me this is not about satiating a short term desire for us to see each other, this is not about alleviating short term sadness... but is about preserving Ayn's long term belief that in this world she is curiously struggling to understand there are those who will always fight in her defense. She will not understand the nuances of government policy or judicial processes.

 

 

What Ayn knows is that "Daddy's coming" she knows this... we have a bond that ensures her trust in me. I love her... she loves me.... she knows I will always look out for her... and i'm trying. is this hard yes, very. I cry so much over her absence, I relish everything that reminds me of her. But she will be back and she will know that her home is a safe place and that Daddy never gave up.

Derek Hoare's Case for No Visitation

By Karla Fisher

Meltdowns hurt. Meltdowns are often referred to as Temper Tantrums by Neurotypical people. They can be violent and they can include loss of abilities such as speech or sensory and cognitive processing. Meltdowns happen because an ASD person goes into fight/flight mode. The body gives over to extreme emotion and they hurt. They hurt me physically. It feels like having the flu and takes me days to recover. They lead to panic attacks, high blood pressure, sleep apnea and a myriad of other health risks. I have a medical file inches thick from a lifetime of high anxiety and autistic meltdowns. My Father died last year (in his 60s) from a stroke brought on by years of anxiety, high blood pressure and meltdowns. Any smart ASD caregiver will focus their efforts on making sure that their ASD person has as few meltdowns as possible. This must be at the top of the priority list of things to address.

My name is Karla Fisher and I am writing on behalf of a little Autistic child name Ayn. She was taken from her Father and put in a Foster care home in Canada several months ago. Evidence suggests that Ayn is perseverating on returning to her Father’s care and that she mourned for weeks about being separated from him. Derek, (Ayn’s Father) began an outreach to the world in an attempt to get his daughter back. And that is why I now write.

My name is Karla Fisher and I have Autism too. I am speaking to you from inside of the body of a person affected by the same disorder that plagues Ayn. I am telling you how I perceive her feelings to be and asking you to understand that what the medical field knows about autism today is far less than what they do not know about it.

Derek Hoare has refused to visit his daughter Ayn and has stated his reasons. I have a bit of a different slant on the story and I am writing this letter to add my perspective on this topic. My hopes are that it clears up any doubt as to the sanity of this request. Ayn has obviously been traumatized by this sudden removal and she cannot possibly understand it on any logical level. (I am in the top 2% of all IQs in this world and even I don’t understand it) Ayn does not have the ability to reason or abstract as you guys do. She thinks in more binary terms. She will not ever understand that her Father can only visit her right now. She will instead see that she cannot have him after he is made to leave. It is a black/white thing folks. This is not about routine nor her being stubborn nor her needing to learn a lesson. This simply will not make sense. And all those “words” that you use cannot help. She will simply not get it.

A visitation will invoke meltdown scenario upon the Father’s departure. If Ayn has suffered enough trauma to have PTSD symptoms (we can reasonably conclude this with 18 straight days of crying) then, the meltdowns become PTSD trigger points or episodes. Science tells us that it takes 50 positive experiences to get rid of just 1 PTSD episode. If Derek and Ayn are made to visit multiple times, the damage could be very long lived for both of them as they try to get over PTSD symptoms. Remember too that each instance of these meltdowns results in physical harm to the ASD person which can result in long term physical damage. If Ayn were a Neurotypical child, these visits might actually have benefit but as a person with ASD they will be damaging.

Given this information does it logically make sense to make THIS the time that we teach this child a lesson?

Does the benefit of an unsupervised visit really outweigh the risk of this child’s physical health?

Is there an alternative solution to putting this child through the torture of having her Father taken from her again or again and again?

I understand that policy and rules exist but please understand that these policies were written for Neurotypical people without the concept of how a person with ASD might view this situation or the possible outcome. Given the circumstance I suggest that now is not the time to be right but rather to get it right. Visitation (especially multiple ones) where the child is pulled away from her “obsession object” (her Father) will cause more harm than good.

I have been in contact with a few other Autistic Advocates/people. John Elder Robison has agreed to sign documents in Ayn’s behalf. I am prepared and able to contact ASAN members to ask for their support as well. I believe I can get a number of very respected and reliable Autistic people to agree that this child needs to be given a break from policies in this case. I live in Portland Oregon area and am just a day trip from this family and will gladly travel to speak to anyone who has any doubt to the validity of these statements as well as be expert ASD witness.

My BIO can be found here…
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=177472365660553&set=pu.155369821204141&type=1&theater
I currently teach Doctors, OTs, SLPs teachers and caregivers about ASD. I am slated to be featured in Temple Grandin’s next book as an ASD role model. My name is Karla Fisher and I speak on behalf of this child who does not have these words.

Warm Regards,
Karla

“In order to walk in my shoes, you must first remove your own.”

Velvet Martin Takes Ayn's Story To Ottawa

Velvet Martin asked Derek today what issues he would like brought forward in future discussions she will have when in Ottawa. This was his response.....................

In Ayn's case in particular I would say the most disturbing thing is how long it took for any expert in her particular diagnosis to address or see her file (autism, 45 days), within hours of removal they had her injected with Ativan and given Haldol, within the following 24hrs Cogentin and Chlorpromazine... with Risperdal and Seroquel soon to follow. All these with no assessment in an unmedicated state, purely reactionary to a very upset little disabled girl who just wanted to go home. 

And even the limited assessment there was (while drugged) was done with no access to me for the doctor who had to determine what to do, simply with what was before him, a frightened autistic child. No investigation into her behaviour in the home was ever done, even to this day.

Another obvious criticism and one which I'm sure the government will love, due to them being able to use it to request additional resources (read taxes) is the wait time associated with child removals throughout the court process, the 7 day limit for a court order is a farce, and any innocent family caught in the maw of this juggernaut will suffer needlessly for months, potentially causing permanent psychological damage, and most certainly altering perceptions of reality forever.

As a side note, I think it important that they understand that most of these actions never result in any criminal charges laid against parents... I for one would have happily endured prison rather than have my child(ren) suffer through this. Yet no charges will ever be laid as I committed no crime, not an hour in jail will be wasted yet they can do this to me and my child(ren) for months and months.... that is criminal, and a clear violation of the charter.

Thank you so much Velvet.

Derek's Daily Updates for September

CONTACT DEREK       iconoclast_ensues@yahoo.com         904-HELP AYN 904-435-7296


Sept 26....................Day 103

The long awaited hearing date, my mom picked up Amie early and came over to my house, I kept Lyric home from school, and we sat together awaiting the fate which lay ahead. Was not an incredibly upsetting day for me as I had prepared myself for this moment and was made aware of this outcome on Day 5 by my lawyer... No shock... No tears... No disbelief. Just a rush of sympathy for Ayn and how much longer she has to sit drugged in a basement. I hope they are being good to her. I hope they see how sweet she can be, and realize just how smart and understanding a child they are now caring for. I have spent the last 9 years of my life protecting her from all the dangers that lurk yet always trying to let her test her limits and to learn that she can overcome these obstacles placed before her. To have that responsibility ripped from me under the guise of helping either her or myself is a monstrous paradox. Why not just expel her? I'd even happily endure exile than subject my child and family to this sort of "help". Ignorance and power are not to be mixed, and here we have built a system which though may be marginally successful at protecting the innocent child from an abusive family; conversely abuses any innocent family caught within its "protection".

Sept 23...............Day 100!

Been spending these days leading up to the conclusion of the presentation hearing (touch wood) researching a variety of elements pertaining to the use of drugs vs ABA therapy and the various programs which could be set up to address this rather than drugging Ayn in school.

Boggles my mind that I am even in this fight, never would have imagined I'd be faced with battling my own government over whether or not they can coercively medicate my daughter. Some decisions should simply be left with the family and if they did not like it perhaps they could take the time to educate themselves on my daughter and approach me rationally. The reality is they do claim the right to be able to do this to us at their will, and as I am finding out there is no way to escape the maw without facing it head on and going through it.

Frankly this is not their decision, and if they wanted to emulate the successes I was having in the home in the school environment then why would we drug her senses. It is not their brain to drug... and they can mind their own damn business. Since when is it that they believe they received the right to pump chemicals into a child without the permission of parents....?

Because one ministry (education) cannot handle her, another (MCFD) can remove and yet another (health) medicate, all while waiting for yet a fourth ministry (justice) even authorize the removal??? Where does the family sit?... We wait and watch... facing apologies for heavy caseloads and a lack of resources. One parent's nightmare.

Sept 20................Day 97

Ok so have written this a few times, Lou keeps coming and closing my tab as soon as I get up to do anything, so cannot move til this is done this time. The day began with Lyric in the bathroom with diarhea and not toilet paper... fun fun. After averting the disaster in progress came breakfast then got Wyatt to continue his work on energy technologies.

Spent much of the day pondering the upcoming interviews. The MCFD social worker arrived 30 min early and we began the meeting with an offer and summation of services the MCFD was willing to provide for me to help my kids. After which we moved on to the interviews; Wyatt was to go first followed by Kim then myself. I was told each interview would take apx 30 min, watching the clock as Wyatt was down there seemed to tick by, took over one hour. The questions he was asked centered on his role within the family, and his daily routine; the standard MCFD questions about punishments and fear were also touched upon.

Kim's interview as well largely seemed to center on his role within the family. When my turn arrived I was informed the questions for me were largely pointless as we had covered my answers in previous encounters. Instead we engaged in what appeared to be a rapport building exercise, we both spoke of our pasts and tried to get a feel for who the other was as a person. Was quite interesting.

I know many thought Wyatt being interviewed alone was unadvisable, suspicion also abounded over the timing of these interviews. But it was in fact me who kept pointing out to MCFD that these interviews had never been done , and that any investigation into the validity of their decision would presumably include a view into the household, why it is that it took until day 97 for them to interview Kim and Wyatt is beyond me.

Now I am admittedly biased but I believe the deeper the understanding of my situation the clearer the injustice of this should become. Time will tell once we see their "interpretation" of our answers.

Sept 20.....................Day 97

I just received an inquisitive email seeking more info on Ayn, as many answers to questions are now buried under hundreds of posts, this was my response:

Ayn's behaviour at school was violent and aggressive, but it was the school that formented that behaviour as her "saftety plan" they had in place required them to allow her to go calm down if she ever became so. Ayn learned that in order to be in control of her own time at school she had to get aggressive or violent, that if she asked or even got a little upset she was simply redirected back to her task at hand. However if she exhibited extreme aggressive behaviour than she was allowed to go sit in a rocking chair and listen to music or go to her "calm down room".

In the home I experienced all of those behaviours as well, but with time and understanding they dissipated three years ago, as Ayn learned that violence would not get her what she wanted in the home... here she had to use her words.

I did have many measures in place to protect Ayn and her brother Lyric who also has autism. I lock the exterior doors of the house with key locks from the inside, this is because though i do not experience the violence the school does she is still naive as is her brother and they are liable to walk out the front door, plus it makes it much easier to know where they are. I lock up the food in a pantry, as well as the toiletries as these will be wasted inplay (bubbles and the like), the bulk of the remaining extreme measures I undergo at home involve repairs, as the children are very hard on thigns and continue to misuse items... vacuums, toilets, VCR tapes, the sink, etc are often all toys for them. Her nudity is an ongoing problem though she has gotten better with that too.

She is enrolled in a public school but is isolated from the populous of the school, and is assigned 2 fulltime TA's. Academically the school has struggled with Ayn, failing to consistently get her under "instructional control", they have never taught her past grade 1, at home however Ayn learns like a sponge and i have taught her enough to catch up and surpass her peers in many ways. She began at this new school at the beginning of last school year (sept 2010) and they began to assess her level... she demonstrated the ability to do her own grade level (4), so they gave her grade 5, she could do that too so they moved her onto grade 6 work (thinking perhaps the outbursts were due to boredom).

Ayn is highly intelligent yet severely delayed in her ability to converse, her ability to understand is great and her ability to express her self is good as well, however there is a bridge to gap with respect to her ability to have two way conversations. And she is still very much interested in preschool type shows or movies, she is a very innocent and naive little girl who really does not yet understand that this is not Her planet to do with as she wants. But she is learning and growing... drugging her is not only unnecessary but reprehensible as she is bright and just needs to be shown how to properly get what she wants.

In school however the expectations levied against her in terms of how her time is spent was unacceptable to her. She needs to be taught by providing her choices and allowing her to direct her learning... with my role as parent to be to control the available choices... in that manner Ayn has excelled.

If you have any further questions let me know please, well informed and thoughtful advice can only serve to benefit me. And the better you understand this situation I believe the greater you will see the injustice of this and of what continues to be done to her. She is at present being give 2 neuroleptic atypical antipsychotics, one consistently and the other reserved for when she gets upset... to "calm" her. As her parent this is a nightmare... I love my daughter... I love her free spirit... and I love her will power... I see no reason for the government to coercively medicate her into submission."



Sept 19...........Day 96

Was Lyric's first day of school today, he has to catch the bus a 10 min walk away at 7:30, so he's about to become quite the early riser. The day went very well, the building is very big compared to any of his previous schools, this is a middle school grades 6, 7, 8. Lyric was very awestruck to the point of excitement, wanted to explore everything and settled right into the class/ resource room as if it were his own.

The teacher seems really good, perhaps too good, was an athletic man and the room is staffed by 6 TA's, these people are more experienced with someone of Lyric's size. There are several other autistic children as well as some adorable down syndrome kids, we all went for a walk to the local park and played on the equipment there.

Was a good day, funny too because there happened to be an assembly that morning, Lyric stood in the main foyer on a stage, and flapped happily away at all the kids as they meandered past on their way to assembly. I am sure he made quite the impression... the world is such a joyous place for Lou (Lyric's nickname).

Wyatt is still plugging away with his microscope, making observations and sketches on just about anything magnifiable.

I have been struggling with pressure exerted from all sides on my decision not to see Ayn, not that I'm wavering just wish my reasoning was better understood. Will write something up for everyone soon.

Sept 18............Day 95

Was a very busy day today, Lyric finally starts school tomorrow and wanted to make sure everything was ready. Wyatt also has been working with his microscope alot and he needed help preparing slides. Got to spend some time talking with an old friend too, he was able to help me keep things in perspective and redirect my energies.

Ayn never drifts far from the forefront of my mind though... it's like an ever present void, not the existence of something but the lack thereof. This house once teemed with her sounds: blaring cartoons, music, singing and laughter... filled now with eerie quiet. So much of what we did as a family centered around Ayn, she was very often the navigator of this ship.

Lyric is always so happy go lucky and Wyatt is considerate so Ayn often selected our activities. She loved to bake, chocolate chip cookies or pink cake, she knows every incredient and measurement we need. But definitely her favourite thing was to listen to music and write, such a creative little girl... now dulled and sedated.

Really makes you wonder how such treatment could be considered to be in her best interest... within hours of removal without ever having spoken to me or anyone else who knew her. Where is the logic... where is the reason... where is the empathy?

Sept 17........... Day 94

It's hard to stay aware of the bubble I find myself in, always reading these documents, white papers and transcripts. I try to follow cases everywhere yet focus on BC and the CFCSA. The legislation across the western world seems to be crafted very similarly, as if each modelled off the same template. Quite foreboding reading, it does however tend to distort ones perception of the present. ...Hence I have to be ever aware of all elements of policy transformation. Simultaneously I have two boys to care for, a household to manage, therapy to structure and memories of a little girl suffusing my every thought. Every minute becomes very precious and prioritized, there is simply not enough time in the day to accomplish everything I would like to. Spent quite a bit of time talking to Amie last night, we discussed the visitation, something we strongly disagree on. Amie and myself are both very thoughtful and stubborn people, but easily find union on one very important matter.... our love for our kids. We do not question one anothers motives. This decision of mine has been an incredibly difficult one and quite controversial, I will endeavour in the coming days to justify my actions in a doc, as many have questioned my rationale. This whole nightmare seems to get more surreal as the days pass. If anyone has a question they would like me to address here feel free to PM me or email me at: iconoclast_ensues@yahoo.com , let me know if you would like your name included with the question, or if you would just like to hear the answer.

it's September 16th, day 93 I guess.

Ayn at present is in a foster home, living in a separate suite downstairs with 24 hr caregivers. She is being medicated daily with Risperdal, and sporadically "as needed" with Seroquel if she tantrums. Benadryl and melatonin are also administered. Both Risperdal and Seroquel are neuroleptic (nerve seizing) atypical antipsychotics, with long lists of side effects.

She attends the same school she did last year, as a result of which I have had to move Lyric to a new school, which fortunately does seem to be very suited to his needs. Wyatt is studying the eucaryotic cell, learning about integers and working away on a book report about the revolutionary war.

Today for me was a bit of recovery, since yesterday morning was surreally difficult. The reason being that I am facing a process which is multifaceted yet each path takes months.... months.... It has already been months, why subject her to this? Because she was unruly? Because she knew just how to get her way at school and bullied them around. She is a little autistic girl, she doesn't understand how sentient we all are, this is her universe and she does not want to be told what to do in it... but she is learning. And she has gotten so much better, I know what the school is facing I have faced it too. But long ago I succeeded in teaching Ayn that violence will not get her what she wants, that she needs to use her words.The school system I'm afraid is simply not ready for some autistic kids just as they are not ready for it.

Ayn is a very bright little girl, her disability does not lie in her vocabulary or intelligence but in her social interaction. She is affectionate and caring but solitary and emotional. She loves music and art, photography and the internet. She does not need to be drugged for her "well being" she was perfectly happy in the home. And when I think about this taking months longer I am flooded with a range of emotions.

So today I spent the moring getting the boys on task, I had a meeting with community services at 10:30 til 12. Chasing moments here and there to work on what I can, always able to think about this but time to work on it is more limited. Kim has been a huge help, he watches the boys daily at this point, which is fun to watch as wyatt and kim try to make eachother and lyric laugh. budding comedians.